All By Myself: Finding Happiness In Heartache


Heartbreak teaches us a lot of valuable lessons, lessons that will better our lives and help us develop into marvellous beings. There is so much good in heartache. There is happiness to be gained. I know that’s hard to believe because having your heart broken is one of the most horrifying and painful things one will ever experience in their time on this planet. However, I am so grateful that I had my heartbroken, because it gave me back something I lost in my relationship; me.

After my breakup I felt like a stranger, I didn’t know who I was outside of that relationship, so I made in my mission to fall in love with me and to embrace my own company. Spending time by yourself may seem like a daunting task, because as a society we view it as a negative thing, but we couldn’t be more wrong. Embracing your own company can be uncomfortable at the start, but there are so many things you can do to help ease yourself into it. Something as simple as going on a stroll by the sea can clear your mind as a wave of tranquility washes out any troublesome thoughts. Sipping on a warm cappuccino in your local cafe as you dream over the pages of the novel you’re reading is the most perfect escapism. Going on a trip to the cinema will boost your confidence and will make you feel like a sassy, independent, movie lover. Don’t worry about the opinions of your fellow cinema goers; if Ryan Gosling is on screen, they’re not going to be fretting about the girl sitting by herself in Row H.

The main thing to remember is to do whatever brings you happiness. If you feel like going ice skating by yourself then go, if you fancy dining at your local Italian restaurant then don’t panic about booking a table for one, if you want to hop on a train and explore a seaside town then go. Never feel like you can only enjoy life by being in the company of others. Remind yourself that you are good enough every single day. My aunty Joan told me to look in the mirror in the morning and say “I love me” at my reflection. It’s a goofy thing to do, but it’s one of the most important things anyone has ever told me.

Embracing your own company will help you discover who your true self is, it’ll help you feel more confident, it’ll make you feel brave and it will fill you with an independence that you will treasure forever.

“It was when I stopped searching for home within others and lifted the foundations of home within myself I found there were no roots more intimate than those between a mind and body that have decided to be whole.” -Rupi Kaur.

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  • This is such a beautifully written post – I wish I had read this when I was single as well.

    • Kat

      Thank you kindly! that means a lot <3

  • I love this!!! Spending time alone is so important to learn who you are as a person. I do it all the time, especially going to the cinema alone!! Xxxx

  • Oh Kat, this is inspirational , but makes me want to give you a big squeeze! xx