I Don’t Want Children and That’s Okay


It’s as if there’s a sign on every woman which says, “I am female so I must find a mate and reproduce and get married and buy a dog and a five-door car and get a good job…” It simply must be the case judging by the amount of times I’ve been asked if I’m having children or if I want them.

Apparently I just haven’t found the right man and, as soon as I do, I’ll change my mind and want children immediately. Funny that, because I’ve never had a single maternal urge in the whole of my life! Apart from when I held a newborn puppy but that’s different (aren’t they just the cutest things ever?!) I am the least maternal person you could actually meet; I cringe at the mere sight or sound of a child in the vicinity and I feel like the thought of it actually makes my womb contract and my ovaries shut down. This is the complete opposite to what they should be doing, apparently!

I am absolutely sick to death of people assuming that I want to have children and that I’m being mean by depriving my sister of becoming an Auntie. Well sorry but I’m not some sort of factory, used to produce a child just to suit everyone else. I have grown up feeling this way and have had 33 years to get used to it, so don’t you think if I wanted a child I would have one by now or at least be on the way to be having my own family!?

Just like some women who have the urge and make it known on the first date that they can’t possibly date someone who doesn’t want them; I would have to make it very clear that I do not. Just like the other woman, I don’t want to be wasting time on someone who does. Move along and let me talk to that cute looking guy over there who looks like he’s travelled the world and isn’t looking to settle down any time soon!

I really don’t know why everyone says that I should be having children. It must just be because I have a womb, ovaries and a pair of boobs. I often wonder if men ever have this question thrust at them at every single opportunity. I don’t think so.

A quick online search brings up many articles stating the reasons as to why more and more women are shunning motherhood or indeed putting it off until later whilst they climb the career ladder and achieve in settings different to those in which our mothers and grandmothers excelled.

Maybe times are changing, perhaps becoming a mother isn’t the be all and end all for women any more? Perhaps now they are seeing a different ending to their story and are carving out a career path which will lead them to having more free time and income to be able to spend how they wish. Not that there is anything wrong with motherhood, far from it. I think it’s a wonderful thing to do and I applaud any woman who decides to settle down and start a family. However, as far as I’m concerned, I’m happy to play the doting Aunt, the one who gets the kids into trouble with their parents and gets to hand them back at the end of the day.

That’ll do for me.

Sarah DFind Sarah: Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Instagram



  • Elizabeth Flaherty

    Well said Sarah. Nobody should feel they have to have children to conform but sadly we have a tendency to assume everybody wants them and yes I am guilty of this at times. It is not true and absolutely no reason why it should be. We are all individuals and it is our differences that make us interesting (or not) and it is our differences that we should celebrate. Enjoy being the aunt who creates the trouble and enjoy handing them back to mum at the end of your time together. The kids will enjoy having a fun aunt and will no doubt learn some very useful things along the way.

    I am a mother and very much enjoy having my daughter in my life but she, like you, has no desire to have children – regarding babies as parasites in the womb – and I accept her decision. I would much rather see my daughter happy than for her to feel she had to find a man and produce grandchildren.

    Live your life your way and enjoy it!


  • Rebecca Beccaboo Powell

    Fab post!! As you know I just had a baby but until 2ish years ago I was 100% the same. It’s your life and your choice and you need to do what’s right for you, children drastically change your life and definitely aren’t something to be pressured into!

    Becca x

  • Great post, I get asked all the time by family and I dont want kids, im happy being a cat mother =]

  • ramblingmads

    I am probably the least child friendly person alive and have never wanted children. I also don’t want to hold other people’s babies. This is a well known fact but I still get asked this all the time. Especially now C and I are getting married, we’ve discussed it and neither of us wants children. I just wish other people would accept that.