I’ll be turning twenty-one on 17th January and I’ve promised myself that I’m going to get another tattoo: a quote from the musical Hamilton, “I wrote my own deliverance.” I want it, one because I’ve been wanting another tattoo and two, because I love the quote. I fell in love with it the moment I heard Lin Manuel pronounce it in the song Hurricane. It struck a chord with me. It is me. I have written my own deliverance and there’s something powerful in stating it.
The reason I’m telling you this is because I love writing. Obviously, I’d have to love it to be writing about my future tattoos and my love of a hip-hop musical about the founding fathers. I love writing the way you love breathing fresh cool air. It clears my head. It helps me work through things that have happened or are going to happen. I would even say writing has changed my life.
A year ago I wasn’t a writer. At least I didn’t define myself as a writer. Its funny how we label ourselves: student, daughter, coffee drinker, writer, dancer… you name it. We put these invisible labels on ourselves and they eventually define our very being. I never looked at myself as a writer. I considered myself a nerd, hipster, tea-drinker, cat lover. Writing never seemed like it would become part of the picture, until I started doing it.
The writing became a force of habit and then it just became part of me. I went from writing because I wanted to, to writing because I needed to. The words would start flowing out of me and I had to put them somewhere. They ended up as scribbles in notebooks and letters written on napkins.
In high school I remember one of my favorite teachers telling us that words had feelings, they were there own entities. Words were powerful; they could create and destroy an individual. Words were a weapon and we needed to use them wisely. The words became my medicine. Each one a pill fixing me in some way, changing my very being.
It wasn’t just what I was writing, it also became where I was writing. I went from writing about celebrities on a fangirl site to writing about acne and my weird dating experiences. I even started writing about the economy and politics. Nothing was off limits. I even began spilling my biggest secrets to the internet.
Writing has made me open and okay with telling people about my flaws and struggles. Writing has helped me understand myself and the other humans around me. There’s a magic in writing about your insecurities and not caring who reads it. So that’s why I’m writing about writing. Writing has helped me breathe that fresh cool air. Writing has defined me.